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All About Him by Her
by M.J.Politis

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 What if an intergalactic confederation of ETs were to swoop up an Al Bundy/Andrew Dice Clay-like 'typical male' from a bar in South Jersey, transport him to the Drive Inn in Big Fish Montana, and ask him to rant on about 'the woman', from little girl to old hag?      
 
What if, they then took a Murphy Brown feminist off the slopes at Aspen and asked her to have her go at explaining the development of 'the man' from rough-and-tumble boy to dirty-old fart?
 
What if, after a comedo-dramatic description from I.B. Mann and I.M. Woo-Mann, the ETs needing more info, decide how to deal with population control on planet earth, opened up Yankee Stadium, and invited an All-Star team of historical male and female characters from Benjamin Franklin to Susan B Anthony to have a politically-incorrect debate about the sexual issues that plague planet earth, and the rest of the universe.
 
What if the outcome was still not clear enough to tell the ETs which earth gender should be given an extra edge with their advanced technology, and it was up to a jury of five ETs to decide the fate of planet earth? Two members are male, two female and one a hermaphrodite, taking on appropriate earth forms and arguing the issue in a closed-door encounter weekend in which introduction of a hot babe and a super-stud waiter make the ET's feel what REAL human jealousy and sexuality is like?
 
What if two reporters, one male, and female, divorced after they screwed up another story VERY badly,  were assigned the investigation, observing all of the above from hidden vantage points, with the assignment of filing one article that tells the TRUTH.

Chapter 1 available on-line